Something useful: What to do with your time.

If you’re 20, maybe you have 60 years left.
If you’re 40, maybe 40 years.
If you’re 60, maybe 20.

You can do the math.

Maybe you’ll live to 85. Maybe 90. Maybe 100. But the point is the same: your time is finite.

Every day is a series of choices based on what you believe about yourself, the world around you, and what you think will be the best thing to do with that day.

Even if you don’t spend much time thinking about your life and mostly run on autopilot, your autopilot is still headed toward whatever matters most to you.

Now imagine if your beliefs about yourself, the world, or what makes for a good life were wrong.

What would you tell your younger self to keep doing? What would you tell them to let go of? Would you give them a hug or a lecture?

Now flip the question.

What would the version of you ten years from now want you to focus on today?

Recently, I injured myself pretty badly. I ruptured my quadriceps tendon. Surgery was quick. Recovery has not been.

For a while, I lost so much of what I normally take for granted. Small things like walking without thinking about it, driving, going to the gym, going outside, even wandering around the house looking for little things to do. It all disappeared almost overnight.

I know it’ll come back. That’s not the point. (Though I am open for financial condolences if you’re wondering).

But during this brief season, as much as I want to “get back to normal,” I’ve had to ask myself another question:

Do I actually want my old normal?
Or do I want something that’s more aligned with the life I really want?

Life is built on sacrifices and habits.

The unhealthy habits we often call vices. The healthy ones we try to protect.

Every day I’m sacrificing time, energy, attention, and resources for something. The question is: for what?

What do I get in return?

Do I actually feel better after watching one more reel?
Usually not.

Do I feel closer to the person I want to become?
Well…that depends.

If my goal is to be entertained or distracted for another five minutes, then sure, I accomplished that.

But if my goal is something bigger, maybe not.

Maybe the wrong question is, “Does this make me feel good?”

A lot of things feel good. That doesn’t automatically make them good.

Sometimes what feels the best today quietly steals tomorrow. Things like our sleep, our focus, our motivation, or our relationships.

This isn’t really about social media. It just happens to be an easy example.

The better questions are:

What do you want the most?
Why do you want it?
What does that say about the person you’re becoming?
And do you like that person?

If my highest goal is simply to feel good, I’ll probably leave a trail of people paying the price somewhere along the way.

If my goal is validation, looking successful, being admired, feeling smart, attractive, or important, it’s amazing what I can justify saying or doing to get there.

Feelings don’t have a moral compass.
They’re powerful, but they’re also impulsive. They don’t naturally stop to count the cost.

But is it really that bad to live for pleasure? For validation? For being liked? For feeling like you’re enough?

Especially if you can’t see yourself hurting anyone?

Here’s the problem.

Just because you can’t see the consequences doesn’t mean there aren’t any.

Most people don’t wake up wanting to become the person who hurts others.

We all want to believe we’re the good guy.

Even when we make poor choices, we usually have what feels like a good reason. Nobody says, “I knew it was a bad reason, but I did it anyway.”

So I’ll ask it again.

What do you want from the years you have left?

A couple of rules for the thought experiment:

You can’t change your past, so don’t spend your time wishing you had.

And don’t answer with “twenty billion dollars” without asking yourself why.

What would it actually change?
What would it give you that you don’t already have?
What are you really chasing?

If you’ve been investing your life into something that isn’t paying off, maybe it’s worth considering a different direction.

Maybe you don’t even have to change your life first.

Maybe you just need to change what you believe deserves your life.

Therapist note: I’m continually surprised by how many people pour enormous amounts of effort into parts of their lives that, when asked, they can’t explain. They don’t know why they’re doing it, or how it’s supposed to move them toward the life they actually want. People get into feuds, and the honest ones, when asked if they really care, will say “no, not really.” If we all met the person we could be by aligning ourselves with the most valuable thing, I think it’d be a lot easier to stop the vices and enter into the disciplines of that ideal version of ourselves.