4:58 AM

4:58 AM, Driving, and the Revelation
Why driving to the gym turned into a full-blown spiritual awakening (with carbs).

It’s 4:58 AM. Driving to the gym. Enough pre-workout in my stomach and english muffin in my gut to fuel a baby elephant.

Then—right there between two changing lights, accelerating and then decelerating because someone decided to time the lights that way—I have a thought:
“Why do I seek attention from people when I’m actually pretty content being alone?”

Going to the gym always gives me anxiety because I become painfully aware mid-squat there are other people in here, am I doing this workout good enough?

Ah yes, an all-too familiar beginning of every great mental spiral.

For a fleeting, smug second, I think I’ve achieved enlightenment. I’ve transcended the need for external validation. Why Am I going to the gym, I am in no need of “bettering” myself. I am a lone wolf, a peaceful monk in small shorts, the Dalai Lama of the road right now.

But then the second punch of a one-two combo… floors me.

What if I don’t seek attention because I’m “over it”—what if I avoid it because I’m afraid of rejection?
What if I’ve just become a professional emotional gymnast, doing quiet backflips to stay liked, relevant, and never, ever left out?

Wait, is that what I am doing here, right now?

Cue: Deep thoughts. Mirror glances. Internal debates that sound like two Jr. high kids trying to get an A in speech class.

“Well you just want people’s attention”

“Nu-uh”

“Uh huh”

It’s all in the Dough.

There’s cheap bread—$1.78 white fluff. It’s fast. It’s easy. It tastes great for six seconds.
Then there’s the $6 sprouted grain, sourdough, rustic spiritual metaphor bread. Hard to chew. Takes time. Might change your life.

The actions might look the same—going to the gym, being nice, dressing up—but why do I do these things? Am I living from a place of wholeness? Or just baking my self-worth in other people’s approval ovens?

And the, because it was Good Friday, Jesus shows up in the metaphorical bakery:
“The world will hate you because of me.”

Brain, please. It is not even 5 AM.

But also… you got me there. You can’t follow Christ and be everyone’s favorite. Not forever. Eventually, the values split. The applause fades. The unsubscribe buttons get pressed.

And that’s where rejection becomes not a curse, but a reminder. It reveals where we anchor our worth. Are we in the world instead of eternity?

So now, foot on the accelerator, I realize:

• It’s not about if rejection happens.
• It’s about when it does—who am I really living for?

Conclusion:
If I’m going to be misunderstood, misread, or mildly unpopular, let it be because I chose truth over trend. My soul over spotlight. Jesus over clout.

And if it takes a few extra seconds stopping at every traffic light between my house and the YMCA and a loaf of overpriced bread to remind me of that?

Worth it.

---

Liked this?
✨ Share it with someone who needs a holy wake-up on their morning commute.
💬 Drop a comment: What’s your $1.78 bread these days?
🍞 Choose the good bread. Spiritually and literally.