Bad Choices?

When I was 19 I got my first tattoo. I was told that it meant “forgive” in, “Chinese.” I apologize to any pacific islander by overly assuming that all symbol language is simply, Chinese.

At 23, I took 18 credit hours, including both a microbiology course and a biochem class (both had labs).

At 32 I tried to mix greek yogurt and hot coffee for a protein coffee drink (We were out of protein powder).

At 37 I ran outside for two hours when it was -10 degrees, plus the windchill factor it was more like -17.

Let’s just say that I have made some questionable choices in my life, that at the time (and is publicaly stated), were “bad”.

I never intended to make a “bad” choice when I made the choice however. At the moment I tried to make my coffee drink I thought of yogurt being a dairy product. We put dairy in our coffees all the time. I thought, “well, based on experience, this should work.” When the sour yogurt and the hot bitter coffee combined, the cottage-cheese formed substance partially cooked and I ended up with a cheesy-sorta-coagulated crust atop the still hot and still bitter coffee. Again, no step leading up to this mess was necessarily “bad” but was the best I had at the time.

That’s the kicker though isn’t it? We all make choices in the moment with the information we have at the time. Anyone can look back on any point in life and judge from the now-perspective and information and say that a choice was bad.

Nothing is “bad” to our mind at the time, but simply the best we had.

Sure, there is always a context in every decision. For example, the tattoo was during a time when I had lost contact with a good friend. I decided it was not only cool to get my first tattoo, but noble I would put “forgive” on my back. Also, to put forgive in a symbol of another culture just seemed so open-minded. I really thought this was the absolute best idea. I really put my best foot forward and still, 20-years later have this obscure tattoo which I still haven’t looked up to what it really means.

What the tattoo, cottage cheese coffee, the almost-frost-bitten run taught me was invaluable wisdom. I have the experience, not just the knowledge or concept, the actual experience to say, “you should probably Google search that before you do it.”

But, more importantly, I have empathy when someone makes a mistake or wrongs me because of these and other experiences.

If you’ve ever gotten upset and did anything irrational, then you can relate to the next guy who wrongs you. If you have ever wanted something and didn’t have the money and considered the thought to just take it, you can connect with a robber in jail or the next Billionaire who is arrested for corrupt practices.

From where I stand, forgiveness should be as common in life as our own experience has taught us. No, I have never been high on meth, up for seven days, and then thought I could build a time machine. However, I have had times where I was up all night and the next day thought that I could sleep at work with just one-eye closed and then switch eyes to sneak in some naps. Neither of our choices make logical sense, if not scientific impossibilities, so why should I, rationally speaking of course, judge someone else, or dissaociate from them because of something they did that I can relate to.

To judge is to distance yourself from associating with someone else. When you let your judgement down and sit with the fact that you can relate, if you choose to, then you can find forgiveness. Don’t forgive someone to be the better person, the bigger man, the humble one. Forgive someone because you know that you are forgiven for your wrongs, and that is what we can do for others, if we choose to.